Why do You Have to Go Through a Period of No Contact?
I often hear guys wonder, why would they want to go through a period of no contact with their ex girlfriend if they are trying to get back together with her. You might make the assumption that having more contact with her is what you need right now and that is a classic mistake that guys will make. While you might assume that being more attentive to her is going to be a good thing, it usually isn't.
Here is why:
1. You are broken up and she doesn't want to act like she still has to check in with you.
This is something that happens a lot. A guy gets dumped by his girlfriend and then he keeps in contact with her as a way to "check in." Most of the time, the woman is going to assume that it really means that you are trying to spy on her or see what is going on in her life. And you know what? Most of the time that is what the guy is really trying to do. You don't want to come across that way if you are trying to prove to her that you are the kind of guy she wants to be with. You want her to know that she can do her own thing and that you are not trying to check up on her or spy on her.
2. There is probably some tension between you and her that needs to go away.
There is the good kind of tension and there is the bad kind. The bad kind is when you can't seem to be around her without getting into an argument. The good kind is sexual tension, but that is for another time and place. Right now, if there is that kind of tension that leads to a lot of arguing or bickering or just animosity - that is going to be toxic to your chances of being able to win her back. You don't want that at all. Give yourself time to cool off and give her some time to cool off. Also, with there being a period of time where you don't see or talk to one another, it gives her the chance to miss you.
3. You can use this time to reinvent yourself.
Without a doubt, there are some changes that you are going to need to make if you are going to be able to win her back. If you are around her all of the time, it's going to be hard for her to really notice those changes. Changes are more pronounced when you haven't seen someone in a while and this is going to be a good thing if you want to impress your ex girlfriend with the new you.
Here is why:
1. You are broken up and she doesn't want to act like she still has to check in with you.
This is something that happens a lot. A guy gets dumped by his girlfriend and then he keeps in contact with her as a way to "check in." Most of the time, the woman is going to assume that it really means that you are trying to spy on her or see what is going on in her life. And you know what? Most of the time that is what the guy is really trying to do. You don't want to come across that way if you are trying to prove to her that you are the kind of guy she wants to be with. You want her to know that she can do her own thing and that you are not trying to check up on her or spy on her.
2. There is probably some tension between you and her that needs to go away.
There is the good kind of tension and there is the bad kind. The bad kind is when you can't seem to be around her without getting into an argument. The good kind is sexual tension, but that is for another time and place. Right now, if there is that kind of tension that leads to a lot of arguing or bickering or just animosity - that is going to be toxic to your chances of being able to win her back. You don't want that at all. Give yourself time to cool off and give her some time to cool off. Also, with there being a period of time where you don't see or talk to one another, it gives her the chance to miss you.
3. You can use this time to reinvent yourself.
Without a doubt, there are some changes that you are going to need to make if you are going to be able to win her back. If you are around her all of the time, it's going to be hard for her to really notice those changes. Changes are more pronounced when you haven't seen someone in a while and this is going to be a good thing if you want to impress your ex girlfriend with the new you.